June 27, 2006

Bleed the world

Malcolm McLaren and Bob Geldof are the new Cash Pistols, as Eric Ellis reports.

Hippies become yuppies, communists become neocons and rednecks become president of the US. So perhaps it’s only natural that cultural provocateurs join the Establishment, and give motivational speeches endorsed by the blue-jacketed crowd at the Australian Institute of Management.

Thirty years ago, Malcolm McLaren launched the Sex Pistols on an unsuspecting world with novel ways in blasphemy. About the same time, Bob Geldof began scaring parents with songs about dysfunctional daughters. Three decades on, these two grand old men of punk have snappily repackaged themselves as The Influentials – “The Avatars of Influence”. Before you laugh, remember that every-one’s got to make a living, and when you’re 60 (McLaren) and 55 (Geldof) and you’re not Mick Jagger, you take the bucks where you can get them. The Influentials’ website warns with no obvious self-irony visible, “Will Sell Out!” Perhaps, not a truer word was uttered.

Bob and Mal hope Melbourne suits will part with $1700 for a day of their wisdom, explaining how a life spent around heroin, safety pins and starving Africans might help the bottom line. Beancounters might wonder what McLaren, who conceived such penetrating lyrics as “God Save the Queen, A Fascist Regime” could offer. Then again, Geldof did display a persuasive technique when he implored Live Aid viewers in 1985 to “Give Us Your Fookin’ Money”.

So after Mal has been paid many thousands for his 30-minute spiel and 10 minutes of “couch chat”, and likewise Bob, who’ll do a “music performance” as well as a private lunch for 30 (though that costs extra), what’s next for those outside-the-box thinkers? Charles Manson on family values? Steve Vizard on good corporate governance? Osama bin Laden on managing an effective multinational?