August 15 2006

Dean Jones: cricket tragic
 

The former Australian batsman's "terrorist" slur on a South African player came as no surprise to those who have followed Jones' crass commentating career, writes Eric Ellis

"Our Deano" has been an accident waiting to happen for a long time, perhaps as long as he has been seated behind a microphone.

On Dubai's Ten Sports, Jones presented as a comedian, a buffoon let loose in the complex cultural soup of a region that he hasn’t bothered to learn about. I’m sure I've heard him remark that the Pakistani batsman who just scored a heroic ton deserves a stiff drink for his efforts. Apart from the Hindu spinner Danesh Kaneria, most of the Pakistani team are devout Muslims. Perhaps Deano thinks they are looking for Inzy's contact lens when they genuflect to Mecca before entering the arena.

I winced at his congratulation of an Indian Hindu player who had just scored a century. The batsman squinted skyward, possibly to see if his mum was in the stands, or maybe just because he was adjusting for the strong Indian sun to prepare for the double ton. Jones offered viewers his penetrating view that the batsman “looks to the heaven to thank god for his sterling knock.” Which god, Deano? Hinduism has millions of them. Hardly sackable offences, but certainly eye-watering in their ignorance.

Someone should've told him. Ten Sports is staffed by Indians, Pakistanis, Lankans; Hindus, Muslims and Buddhists who bring cricket to the Indian Ocean market, with the notable exception of Australia. Check into a hotel anywhere in the region, or buy a cable subscription, and you’ll see Ten Sports. Jones was a rare Aussie on their roster. Be it in Karachi or Kanpur, Kandy or Kabul, I often settle in front of Ten Sports to watch the cricket. The recent resumption of battle between India and Pakistan has been riveting. If you are a cricket tragic, you love the game whoever’s playing.

Cricket is a broad church but Jones comments on matters subcontinental as if he’s never left the Aussie boozer, the same ocker jokes, the same inane observations. I’ve followed his parallel careers as he takes the big bucks of the cricket-crazy subcontinent while trying to maintain a media profile back home. I’ve logged on via the net to Melbourne radio 3AW’s Sports Today whenever time zones permit. It’s a wonderful, if bizarre, contrast. Once, in Kabul, a Kandahari war widow was cleaning my room as Jones joshed with the good old boys of 3AW, his new employers who don’t seem to get - or worse, care - what damage he has done. She listened intently to my computer, desperate to advance her English. Jones was just desperate to advance his career in Australia, in the vain hope that someone – a Mark Taylor, an Ian Healy - falls off the Oz cricket commentary bus. The 3AW lads rarely ask him what’s happening in India or Pakistan, unless its a query about the Indian team coach Greg Chappell, and Jones mostly just mouths off about what’s wrong with the very successful Australian team. Then another ocker calls in to say what a great bloke Deano is, and what a hero he was for Australia in Madras in 1985 et al. There are nods all round ad infinitum.

After describing Hashim Amla, a talented cricketer many South Africans believe could be the Rainbow Nation's first Indian-origin captain, as a terrorist (and how does Deano’s excuse that he thought the mike was off make his comments any more acceptable?), Jones' $3000-a-day, plus expenses, services are no longer required by Ten Sports.

But not to worry, sport, the good old boys of 3AW are there to bail him out. Indeed, the moment the disgraced Deano arrived back in Australia he was spinning that "Maaaaate, I’m no racist, some of my best friends are Muslims, I’ve even got a relative who’s a Muslim" and so on. The hosts agreed that Deano’s apology was suitably contrite, that there was no place in sport for racism. This is the same 3AW that stars Rex "Black Dog" Hunt and routinely calls Pakistanis "Pakis". A few good blokes rang in to say Deano was a great bloke and all was well again with the world, the damage had been fixed.

Until next time. 3AW's loss, Ten Sports' gain.

Eric Ellis The Bulletin Asia Correspondent